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Thursday, August 31, 2017

URGENT HELP NEEDED (Humor)

Originally found in my personal inbox from a software developer still using a Commodore 64. I thought I'd share it today.



If you're reading this, then you are already part of a chain that goes
back to the early 1980s. Early in the morning on June 4th in 1982,
software engineer Dwayne Harris sat down to write a BLISS module for
the then-new VMS operating system. Little did he know, but a
radioactive bug had crawled into his VAX 11/785 prototype, shorted a
power supply capacitor and opened a worm-hole into another dimension.

A small type-2 semi-demonic entity emerged from this dimension and
took up residence in the VMS source repository. Fragments of the
semi-demonic entity's consciousness were also embedded in Dave
Cutler's subconscious (thus explaining the WindowsNT video driver
interface.)

Every 2^20 seconds, a secret society of software engineers gathers in
an unused USENET news group to ritually banish this semi-demonic
entity. Things have been going fine, but the old guard is retiring and
moving on to other projects. We are in desperate need of new software
engineers to carry on the work of this once mighty society of software
engineers.

If we fail to achieve a quorum of 0x13 participants in the banishment
ritual, the semi-demonic entity will be released and any number of
modern plagues will fall upon the online public.

In 1995, we started our ritual late and internet explorer was released
upon the world. Only through fast action was complete disaster averted
and MS Bob coaxed back into a vault underneath Stanford University.

Because of the recent influx of former redditors into the remains of
the USENET backbone systems, we can no longer perform our rituals. As
an alternative, we have developed this chain letter.

At EXACTLY 7:48:12PM PDT 22 July 2015 (10:48:12PM EDT) and every 2^20
seconds afterwards, we ask you to email a copy of this letter to five
software engineers in your address book. The flux of mystical
representational energy through MAE WEST and MAE EAST should be
sufficient to ward off the evil that now faces us.

Remember, for this spell to work, you must be a software engineer and
send the email to other software engineers.

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